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Wawasan Masyarakat

Is it more difficult than ever to feel grown up?

Written on:
March 27, 2023
Leyah Dizon

In recent years, the concept of adulting has become more mainstream among Filipino young adults. The term “adulting” is often used when one accomplishes a task or an achievement that makes them feel closer to being an adult — think getting your passport renewed, finally getting around to health insurance or even just shopping for groceries.

Why is there such a distinction between coming of age and actually feeling like one, though? Are common milestones in adulthood getting more difficult to achieve? We find out from N=1,000 Gen Zs and Millennials aged 18 and above in the Philippines to understand their opinions of adulting, and where they currently find themselves in this journey.

This survey was conducted via Milieu Insight’s online proprietary panel in October 2022. The respondents were aged between 18 and 41 in 2022, and the ages referred in this article reflects that of 2022. 

Being an adult, yet not really feeling like one

Among the Filipinos surveyed, aged between 18 and 41, only about 41% felt that they were “absolutely” already adults, which skews much lower among the Gen Zs (28%). For some, adulting leans towards hopping on a journey more than a status designated to them just as they turn 18, with the remaining 44% saying that they only felt it “somewhat” and 11% said “not really” or “not at all”.

Come to think about it, common milestones of adulthood like getting married, having kids, or financial independence don’t quite have the same place in today’s world, compared to our parents’ generation anymore. University degrees are an expectation than an achievement, yet crippling student loans are making adulting milestones harder to achieve than ever. As this author describes, “it's entirely possible that our generation doesn't feel like adults yet because our definition of what it means to be an adult was set by our parents.”.

For today’s young adults, what does it mean to be an adult?

According to these young adults surveyed, the hallmarks of being an adult are:

  • Making important life decisions on your own (78%)
  • Paying for bills or expenses on your own (63%)
  • Managing your health on your own (61%)
  • Knowing what to do in life (60%)
  • Meeting family obligations or expectations (58%)

However, many of them feel that they have yet to achieve them, especially in the area of family expectations:

In collectivist Asian societies - the Philippines not excluded - the identities of individuals tend to be pegged to that of their families, parents especially. Unfortunately, the very things that glue can also trap individuals into measuring their achievements against expectations that are not their own. 

Adult or not… eventually does it matter?

68% of Filipino young adults said that they had recently felt pressure from people around them about life events expected of an adult.

Truth is, most of us are going to have years ahead of us, and in these years we’re always going to be learning, always growing as adults. Is it okay to not have achieved the milestones that our parents did at our age? 82% of Filipinos said yes, it’s okay – and we think so too.

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